Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Dating Without A Purpose.

By no means and I a relationship expert, but with my experience and knowledge along with the advice and experience from my girls, I think together we have some valuable information. The year now is 2010 and there should be no reason you should date without a purpose especially if you are looking for someone to spend the rest of your life and to build a family with. Often times we just settle for the first person that ask us out but we never really think about what he/she really has to offer besides a free dinner and conversation.

My advice is to create your Top 5. Your Top 5 is a list of things that you want in a person that you would not budge on. For example…. He/She has to be African American, has to be educated, have a good job and must like children. These might be a few things that is on your list. So if you meet a guy/gal today and you think they are cute go after them! A closed mouth doesn’t get feed but within the first 5-10 minutes of the conversation you should ask these questions.

Once this is done you need to evaluate the situations. You find the person attractive, they have a good job and are very well educated BUT they don’t like kids. Please do not continue this conversation and if you do….. don’t take it further than that. There is no need to exchange numbers because clearly they are not what you are looking for. You will come out the loser

It is obvious that you two are on two different pages. Keep in mind if they are telling you that they don’t want children now and don’t see any in their future but this is something that you want in your future. You are wasting your time and therefore dating without a purpose.

My point is, If you take the time out and make a realistic list you will be on the right path trying to find your perfect match. Happy Dating!

Monday, October 25, 2010

A Dedication to True Love: Sunrise 6.19.1990 - Sunset 9.11.2010

Every one grieves differently and so many people have told me that “Time will heal all” But I often ask myself “Am I waiting for something that might not ever come?” When 9/11 happened I was so sad but it didn’t really hit me hard because I didn’t lose anyone. But this year it hit me like a ton of bricks. My little sister Sharita Yates aka “Sauce Gurl” passed away. In June 2009, Sharita was diagnosed with Acute lymphocytic leukemia (ALL). ALL makes up 80% of childhood acute leukemia’s. Most cases occur in children ages 3 - 7. The disease may also occur in adults.

In acute leukemia, cancerous cells multiply quickly and replace normal cells. Cancerous cells take over normal parts of the bone marrow, often causing low blood counts.
Most cases of ALL have no obvious cause. However, the following may play a role in the development of leukemia:
·         Certain chromosome problems
·         Radiation exposure or being exposed to x-rays before birth
·         Past treatment with chemotherapy drugs
·         Receiving a bone marrow transplant
·         Toxins such as benzene

Sharita went through Chemo and finished her last treatment in December. Everything seems to be going well. Or so we thought. She went into remission and her cancer came back in the end of January. After going through Chemo and having radiation done on her full body she was still strong. She needed to do this to prepare for a Bone Marrow transplant.

Sharita got the Bone Marrow transplant August 12, 2010 (My son’s birthday) and was now in recovery. She was doing so well. Her skin was beautiful and She was just grateful that everything was going well. She had to spend 100 days in the hospital. She complained about missing the summer but the thought of being better and being able to do things later outweighed her grieve. As long as she had visitors, her cell phone and computer with internet access…… she was ok.

Her Bone Marrow never kicked in when we needed it to, she got sick in the hospital and everything went downhill from there. We all were so hopeful. I mean what family wouldn’t be? Sharita was a fighter and she fought until she could not fight no more. We lost a beautiful person on September 11, 2010. She may be gone but she will never be forgotten. May you rest in peace Rita Gurl and I dedicate my blog to you. You were always giving people advice on love. Although you were just 20 years old you had a lot of information to share with the world. I will love you forever!!!!!!

 Information about ALL has been provided by Medline Plus. To learn more about Leukemia I have provided some links below: 


What do you have to offer?

Since I have been out the dating world for so long I forgot that there are rules and steps to be successful in the dating world. To me a relationship is like cooking a good dish. You need different ingredients, time and patience to make your perfect dish perfect. If you still don’t understand what I mean? Let me break it down. First you need to know what it is that you are cooking.

In other words what are you looking for in a person/mate? Let’s say we are baking a cake. You already know that you need milk, eggs, flour and butter. This can be related to what attributes you want this person to have. Do you want them to be charming, funny, shy, sensitive, honest and my number one favorite supportive?  These are things that you want them to bringing to the table. Your next question should be what do I have to offer? If he/she has the milk can I bring the eggs and flour?

Once all of the ingredients are mixed together it’s time to place the batter in the oven where the magic happens.  Over time and with the help of the of the heat (this is your attraction to the other person) your cake will begins to rise, once done you have a beautiful and delicious product. And this is where your time and patience plays a huge part. In order for something to work you have to take the appropriate steps and times in making it happens. If something is missing, your cake will not rise and it will not be good. 

Therefore once you find someone that peaks your interest take the steps to get to know them and build from there. This is something to think about the next time you are looking at potential people to be your mate.


Welcome to my page that is based on Life, Love, Sex, Dating, 
Romance,Relationships, and the Power you have in controlling it. Inside my blog I will cover many of these aspects. You are more than welcome to post your comments and make suggestion about new and worthwhile topics. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for visiting and reading. Please be sure to follow me and check back for new post.